Updated: Sep 10
So many people have difficulty separating made-up narratives from reality. If you get angry or hurt easily, or if you are an anxious over-thinker, more than likely, you are making up false narratives to “fill in the blanks.”
For example, are you the type of person who “senses” when someone is mad at you and then makes up a scenario about why this person is mad? Sometimes, what happens next is we become highly defensive because we then justified all the reasons why they shouldn’t be mad, all without saying, “Hey, I noticed there is an energy shift. Everything okay?”
When we fill the blanks with false narratives, our brains typically go to worst-case scenarios.
What if this and what if that?
In Buddhism, when we allow our brains to spiral about future what-if situations, this is known as having a Monkey Brain. The brain is undisciplined and creates fear-based stories to protect you from harm.
This type of thinking is often linked to trauma in the mental health world of psychiatrists, therapists, and psychologists.
Some people steadfastly believe that they’ve never experienced trauma because their pain and suffering feel small compared to others.
But the thing is, every single one of us as children has experienced not being heard, seen, or good enough by their parents, no matter how great they may have been. And when you first experience the pain of not being heard, or seen, or good enough, it’s incredibly painful.
Don’t deny your trauma of feeling abandoned as insignificant because someone else’s trauma was worse.
Not all childhood trauma is equal, but trauma plays a part in how we navigate decisions as adults, no matter how big or small.
When we experience emotional deregulation (anxiety, anger, sadness), we feel it in our bodies first. You feel your anger before your brain thinks it is angry. This is because trauma produces physiological changes in the body, makes the brain hyper-aware of danger, increases stress hormones, and makes it harder to filter what is true and what isn’t.
When you continue to fall into old thinking patterns that are not good for you, it’s not because of a moral failing on your part. Your mind and body remember the trauma and work together to trigger a response to warn you of danger.
I pulled an oracle card from the Sacred Rebels deck to help guide you when your thinking becomes limiting or when your brain becomes overprotective.
The card I pulled said, “Relax the Hold of Darkness and Be at the Cause.”
Here is how I interpret this card.
Your inner child sets up thinking patterns and behaviors to protect you from abandonment, pain, unworthiness, abuse, etc.
Your inner child did such a great job protecting you. Look at where you are. But you’ve limited yourself because you still play by your younger self’s rules. You wouldn’t be here without the protection of your inner child, but now it’s time they played by your rules. It’s time you bring them into your world and show them what is possible.
Leave behind the dark grip of hesitation and procrastination. Stop second-guessing yourself.
You’ve played it safe. Your inner child has kept you safe. But now is the time to release your trauma and get in the arena without fear.
Holding on to the dark past does not serve you. You’ve learned. You’ve adapted. Trust your abilities and go for it.
Trust that you are protected. Trust your process. Trust in your ability to learn.
Now is the time to heal, feel, and deal so that you can live a life without fear.